_____I can only imagine how bored that guy was when he invented the jump rope. (funny quote, hilarious quote)
_____By the time I get to the bottom of the bottle, I don't really need an answer. (funny quote, funny status, best funny quote)
_____Girls do get better with age........ when they go from 17 to 18 and 20 to 21. (funny quote, hilarious quote, lol quote, hilarious status)
_____If you don't like it, you have two choices. You can get over it or get! (best funny status, top funny quote, hilarious quote)
_____When I went to college my mum told me to get a lot of sleep and go to all my classes. I managed to do both! Simultaneously. (funny quote, daily life quote, hilarious quote, funny status)
_____Ponderable: If you have 50 odds and ends on a shelf, and you break 49 of them, are you left with an odd or an end? (funny quote, awesome quote, funny status)
_____I still haven’t figured out a way to compliment a woman’s lips without it being obvious where I want them. (hilarious quote, hilarious status, top funny quote)
_____I spend most first dates asking a girl about the street she grew up on & her first pet's name so I'll at least have access to her passwords. (funny status, hilarious status)
_____Next person to call me short will be kicked in the butt!!!....That's all I can reach anyways. (funny quote, hilarious quote, top funny quote)
_____I'm the f***in king of pre-mature good byes at the workplace. (top funny quote, best hilarious quote)
_____The nice part of putting something funny on Facebook is that you don't have to hear the people who have annoying laughs.(funny status, hilarious status)
_____I don't tell people to go to hell, because I don't want to have to deal with them after I die. (funny quote, hilarious quote)
_____I can afford the alcohol to support my drinking problem, it's the stupid legal fees that break the bank. (funny status, funny quote)
_____Spending 20 minutes trying to spell callisthenics also counts. (funny quote)
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