____"A broken thermostat and working with an office full of men is not an excuse to take off your pants at work."............My Boss (funny boss quote)
_____There's a girl wearing same shirt as me.. I hope this doesn't mean we have to fight. (funny girl quote joke)
_____It doesn't matter if you have good looks, a good personality or a good dress sense. As long as your boobs jiggle when you walk WE are happy! (hilarious gal quote status)
_____You really have 2 great social skills... why do you keep hiding them in your Bra (funny bra quote)
_____Since the invention of internet stalking I saved a lot of Gas (funny gas quote)
_____If life gives you lemons, it's probably because you're a deserving a$$hole (funny life quote)
_____Look lady, if I weren't supposed to stare at your butt, why did they sew those patterns onto your jeans to draw my attention? (funny laddies quote)
_____Open the windows.... look outside there are plenty of crazy bitches who'll make ya feel better bout your shitty life. (funny life quote)
_____I just woke up from a 2 hour nap when I wasn't tired. So if you wanna know what the face of depression looks like, I'll be glad to send a picture (funny nap quote)
_____CNN News: Wi-fi laptops can damage sperm.........In my experience probably not as much as sperm can damage Wi-fi laptops (funny news quote)
_____Apparently this is a bad pick up line; How low would you rate your self esteem right now? (funny self esteem quote)
_____If you're pretty everyone considers you a bitch. But if you're ugly and a bitch it's called "low self esteem". (funny self esteem quote)
_____Chick at the drive-through said "Enjoy yourself." How'd she know I was masturbating in my car? (funny chick quote)
_____Not sure where my career is headed to. But I'm pretty sure, my future employer's horoscope has started reading f words. (funny employer quote)
_____You know you can put your deepest darkest secret into quotation marks and people will just think its a quote.. "I cry myself to sleep".. see. (funny quotation quote)
_____No one ever said life was easy.. but several people did say you were... and I agree. (funny life quote)
_____The fact that my office door has a lock on the OUTSIDE instead of the INSIDE tells me that slavery still exists… (funny office quote)
_____They may help me taste things, but I'm not quite ready to call them my "buds" (funny buds quote)
_____How long do I need to stare at someone at a stoplight to make them love me? (funny stop light quote)
_____I AM AWESOME!!!
_____There's a girl wearing same shirt as me.. I hope this doesn't mean we have to fight. (funny girl quote joke)
_____It doesn't matter if you have good looks, a good personality or a good dress sense. As long as your boobs jiggle when you walk WE are happy! (hilarious gal quote status)
_____You really have 2 great social skills... why do you keep hiding them in your Bra (funny bra quote)
_____Since the invention of internet stalking I saved a lot of Gas (funny gas quote)
_____If life gives you lemons, it's probably because you're a deserving a$$hole (funny life quote)
_____Look lady, if I weren't supposed to stare at your butt, why did they sew those patterns onto your jeans to draw my attention? (funny laddies quote)
_____Open the windows.... look outside there are plenty of crazy bitches who'll make ya feel better bout your shitty life. (funny life quote)
_____I just woke up from a 2 hour nap when I wasn't tired. So if you wanna know what the face of depression looks like, I'll be glad to send a picture (funny nap quote)
_____CNN News: Wi-fi laptops can damage sperm.........In my experience probably not as much as sperm can damage Wi-fi laptops (funny news quote)
_____Apparently this is a bad pick up line; How low would you rate your self esteem right now? (funny self esteem quote)
_____If you're pretty everyone considers you a bitch. But if you're ugly and a bitch it's called "low self esteem". (funny self esteem quote)
_____Chick at the drive-through said "Enjoy yourself." How'd she know I was masturbating in my car? (funny chick quote)
_____Not sure where my career is headed to. But I'm pretty sure, my future employer's horoscope has started reading f words. (funny employer quote)
_____You know you can put your deepest darkest secret into quotation marks and people will just think its a quote.. "I cry myself to sleep".. see. (funny quotation quote)
_____No one ever said life was easy.. but several people did say you were... and I agree. (funny life quote)
_____The fact that my office door has a lock on the OUTSIDE instead of the INSIDE tells me that slavery still exists… (funny office quote)
_____They may help me taste things, but I'm not quite ready to call them my "buds" (funny buds quote)
_____How long do I need to stare at someone at a stoplight to make them love me? (funny stop light quote)
_____I AM AWESOME!!!
Unlike · Comment · 3 minutes ago · Shared with: Only Me (funny awesome status quote)
_____ "I want a man who loves me for me." ~ Girl with fake hair, nails, eyelashes, eyebrows. Lipstick, the make up! And whatever else I missed. (funny fake girl quote)
_____ I can't wait to hear those three little words to make valentines day perfect. "Heres Your Sandwich" (funny valentine day quote)
_____ It's January 32nd, and yes, I'm too lazy to flip a page on my calendar. (funny calender quote)
_____ i hate people who advertise themselves on social networks... But out of topic, Just to inform you guys i am still accepting applications for valentines' day.. ;-) (funny valentine day quote)
_____ I've been single since January 2011. I'm totally fine buying chocolate for myself on Valentine's Day because I'm awesome. (funny valentine quote)
_____ Devoting the upcoming weekend to switching over to Timeline....it MUST take a SHITLOAD of time to pic out a cool sunset picture to feature on your profile.. (funny timeline quote status)
_____ The fact that I broke up with my ex...AGAIN...right before Valentine's Day...says my chances of getting laid on V-Day just increased drastically (funny valentine quote)
_____ "I want a man who loves me for me." ~ Girl with fake hair, nails, eyelashes, eyebrows. Lipstick, the make up! And whatever else I missed. (funny fake girl quote)
_____ I can't wait to hear those three little words to make valentines day perfect. "Heres Your Sandwich" (funny valentine day quote)
_____ It's January 32nd, and yes, I'm too lazy to flip a page on my calendar. (funny calender quote)
_____ i hate people who advertise themselves on social networks... But out of topic, Just to inform you guys i am still accepting applications for valentines' day.. ;-) (funny valentine day quote)
_____ I've been single since January 2011. I'm totally fine buying chocolate for myself on Valentine's Day because I'm awesome. (funny valentine quote)
_____ Devoting the upcoming weekend to switching over to Timeline....it MUST take a SHITLOAD of time to pic out a cool sunset picture to feature on your profile.. (funny timeline quote status)
_____ The fact that I broke up with my ex...AGAIN...right before Valentine's Day...says my chances of getting laid on V-Day just increased drastically (funny valentine quote)
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