_____there should be an anti social network for half the people on my list that never post anything.
_____Ok so you went from being 'in a relationship' to being 'single'..I went from 'not giving a damn' to 'not giving a f**k'
_____There you are !!! We were just talking about you.... well, not about you specifically but about whores and hypocrisy. (funny whore hypocrisy quote)
_____are you trying to say that I'm not intelligent.....b!t*h...i went to the School of Hard knocks, University of Life (funny life quote)
_____I suppose one day I'll fall in love again, but I'm just too emotionally stable for that right now. (funny love quote)
_____Her... you have the biggest ego... Me... you misspelled c**k
_____When I'm high, I'll call some customer service number and choose the Spanish option just for the challenge
_____I punched my nieghbors kid in the face today and I told him to keep his goat out of my yard
_____My neighbor must of bought a donkey. She just sent me a text asking if I want to ride her a**
_____If you don't like my posts I have two words for you- WHY NOT?
_____Yes I got your friend request. I didn't see the "Whatever" button and "Confirm" didn't sound right (friend request quote status)
_____I know the exact button to push when I want my girl to disappear. The power button on my modem. Internet love affairs are the best! (funny affair quote)
_____I'd like to say something to all those girls who are madly in love with me, "Please start existing!" (funny love quote)
_____I was looking to buy some new sneakers last night and the guy at the shoe store asked if he could interest me in some running shoes. I laughed until I threw up then left.
_____If I like someone's status on Facebook, that's because I really really ......................................... want you to check out my status.
_____One of my favorite winter activities is wishing you were dead....sort of like all the rest of the seasons. (funny wish)
_____When your world is falling apart, when you need a friend, when it seems like things can't possibly get any worse, please remember....I don't give a f**k
_____What’s big round and hates you? The world (funny hate status)
_____women buy so many shoes because they spend most of their time on their feet walking around the shops…buying shoes
_____Whenever I think life sucks, I look at yours and realize mine's not so bad. (funny life quote)
_____I put my pants on the same way all of you do. I'm just better at doing absolutely everything else
_____If you think I have nothing better to do than to sit around all day logged in to FB, then you are definitely my stalker
_____My mom use to beat me and my younger brother with a telephone.....I was always on the receiving end!
_____I always make sure to be able to live within my means..even If I had to borrow the money to do it (funny borrow quote)
_____"Life is test." and my grade is "F"
_____This beer diet sucks for losing weight... but if you wanna lose your job and your house... it's perfect!
_____I don't ask for much. But please, for the love of Christ, for my own personal well-being, and for the fact that you're annoying the f**king piss out of me.....please.....SHUT.THE.F**K.UP!
_____If I don't get a like within 10 minutes I check outside to see if the zombies have arrived (funny zombie quote)
_____You can really tell who your friends are by looking at your friends list
_____If you think my jokes are tasteless, kiss my a**. That will give them some flavor
_____I would like to apologize about my nacho status joke earlier....I know I'm cheddar than that. (funny nacho status)
_____Should I be worried that whenever someone actually says 'OMG!', I feel compelled to rip off their leg and beat them to death with the wet end?
_____I just got a text message saying that I won a $1,000.00 Walmart gift card. But since I have to actually go there to use it, I decided it wasn't worth claiming and I just hit "delete." (funny Walmart lotto quote status)
_____I hate it when i meaow at cats and they don't meow back. Thats just so rude -__-
_____Wow, I must have super powers, just melted a piece of ice by staring at it. Took a little longer than I thought it would, but..
_____I am hard of hearing, with my earphones plugged in.
_____Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 350 words. (funny inflation quote)
_____I honestly have a fear that one day I'll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
_____I was out shopping with my wife and she asked me to hold her purse.I told her no way in hell...it didn't match my shoes
You May Also Like
Funny Winter Quotes
Funny hypocrites Quotes
Funny Optimist Quotes
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar