_______Ladies, if you notice me looking at you and then......I get this discouraged look on my face.........it's because I'm undressing you in my mind but I got stuck at your bra...
_______So apparently today is my wife's birthday and she wants to go out tonight. I hate it when she springs sh!t on me like this. (funny status about wife and birthday)
_______That moment when you text someone a long detailed message and they respond with "what?" Sending you into a state where you want to uncontrollably slap them in the face. (WTF moment status)
_______If I were a meteorologist I'd smile while reporting good weather for the day like I have something to do with it. (funny meteorologist status)
_______Just tried cooking in an Easy Bake Oven but it took too long, so I stuck it in the microwave... now I'm outside with the fire department roasting marshmallows over my living room. :(Funny Oven status)
_______Someone just called me a sarcastic a**hole. His tone of voice seemed to suggest that he was under the impression that he was the first to do so. Weird.
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