Fathers Day Quotes Funny

Fathers Day Quotes Funny Definition

Source(google.com.pk)
Bertrand Russell
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
Brad Pitt
Man, if I can get a burp out of that little thing I feel such a sense of accomplishment.
Ernest Hemingway
To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
Tim Russert
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Bill Hicks
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say, "Yeah? When?
Jack Handy
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.
Donald Trump
I love producing children. It's fun! I don't like taking care of children, but I love producing children.
Jerry Seinfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Patrick Dempsey
Here's the cycle: They wake up, they cry, they go to the breast, they eat, they poo or pee, you change a diaper, and they go back to sleep. It's much harder for my wife than for me because she's pumping or nursing.
Lionel Richie
Forget about surviving 40 years in the music business. Just surviving 27 years of Nicole Richie has been a struggle-and-a-half, I want to tell you. I stand here as a survivor, I want you to know, for all the parents out there.
Chris Martin
Men should always change diapers. It's a very rewarding experience. It's mentally cleansing. It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.
Bill Cosby
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
John Sinor
It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.