Dirty Funny Quotes

Dirty Funny Quotes Definition

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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Mahatma Gandhi I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
George Bernard Shaw
All I'm trying to do is survive and make good out of the dirty, nasty, unbelievable lifestyle that they gave me.
Tupac Shakur
It is not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, that the lover of knowledge is reluctant to step into its waters.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, does the enlightened man dislike to wade into its waters.
Friedrich Nietzsche
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
W. Somerset Maugham
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.
Gloria Steinem
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
George Orwell An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through.
William Makepeace Thackeray
To survive it is often necessary to fight and to fight you have to dirty yourself.
George Orwell
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
George Orwell
The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.
Ross Perot
The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time.
Frank Miller
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
Patriotism, when it wants to make itself felt in the domain of learning, is a dirty fellow who should be thrown out of doors.
Arthur Schopenhauer Gray
Davis can run a dirty campaign better than anyone, but he can't run a state.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
I go outside, and I'm wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, 'What's wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush.'
Kristen Stewart
I don't pay to have my dirty work done for me. I do it myself.
Ted Nugent
I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.
John Waters
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
Confrontation is not a dirty word. Sometimes it's the best kind of journalism as long you don't confront people just for the sake of a confrontation.
Don Hewitt
I reject the cynical view that politics is a dirty business.
Richard M. Nixon
I'm a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl last time I checked.
Tori Amos I'm the gun guy, a loud guitar Dirty Harry with a ponytail.
Ted Nugent

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Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes Definition

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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
Go
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons.
Will Smith
Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has.
Will Smith All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot
I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
Tim Duncan
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Washington Irving
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
Thomas Aquinas
I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.
Alice Walker I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
Tahar Ben Jelloun
For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
Laurence Sterne A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
Zac Efron
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
Emo Philips
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
Robert Collier   

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Bowling Quotes Funny

Bowling Quotes Funny Definition

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Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Martin Mull
There's kind of a Zen aspect to bowling. The pins are either staying up or down before you even throw your arm back. It's kind of a mind-set. You want to be in this perfect mind-set before you released the ball.
Jeff Bridges
I'm happy when I'm juggling, but I feel like I've gone from, like, 3 balls to 10 bowling balls. But, that's a good problem. I don't really have a complaint about that.
Kirstie Alley
Back then it was nothing like today. So you'd go to the bowling alley. We bowled and you could be in the back and you could make out, you know? And you know how hot it was to make out.
Steven Tyler
If I had been on 'Bowling for Dollars,' I'd wind up owing them money.
Ricki
LakI was a little, skinny, runt kid, and I decided that bowling was what I was going to do in life.
Don Johnson
I've dated girls and I always wait for that one right time to kiss. I don't kiss on the first date, so I'll take a girl out to dinners, and we'll go bowling, and I make sure to charm them before I do it.
Kellan Lutz
After tea it's back to painting - a large poplar at dusk with a gathering storm. From time to time instead of this evening painting session I go bowling in one of the neighbouring villages, but not very often.
Gustav Klimt
Every bowling center should have a house pro.
Don Johnson Building a mechanical device for its appearance is like putting lace on a bowling ball.
Andrew Vachss
Now I do bowling, golf, and tennis. I want to be a good bowler.
Andy Lau Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.
Martin Mull
I haven't had sex in eight months. To be honest, I now prefer to go bowling.
Lil' Kim
I'm sure Putnam is right that there's been a decline in certain kinds of organizations like bowling leagues. But people participate in communities in other ways.
Peter L. Berger
The struggle you see in the Republican Party today is the country club Republican versus the bowling alley Republican. Colin Powell brings us back to the country club image. He's an insider. He's a moderate.
Pete du Pont
When I was a kid, I was at a bowling alley and I ran into a soda machine. I still have the scar on my right eyebrow obviously.
Luke Perry
The Flutie Bowl is a great event that brings together people who really care about the autism community. We always have a great time bowling and playing music.
Doug Flutie
I don't know a single Republican in Montana who would get in a fight in a bowling alley for John McCain.
Brian Schweitzer
I started bowling when I was 14, my freshman year in high school.
Joe Tex
I vividly remember bowling 20 + games a day, 2 or 3 times a week.
Joe Tex
Well, my hand never fell off, and within no time, I was bowling competitively in leagues and tournaments.
Joe Tex

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Funny Clever Quotes

Funny Clever Quotes Definition

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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
Winston Churchill
Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
George Bernard Shaw
Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.
George Bernard Shaw
Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.
Aristophanes
Clever tyrants are never punished.
Voltaire
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.
Jane Austen The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. Nothing is often a good thing to say, and always a clever thing to say.
Will Durant
Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect - But tell me the truth.
Shel Silverstein
Clever men are good, but they are not the best.
Thomas Carlyle
The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
Rudyard Kipling
It is a great act of cleverness to be able to conceal one's being clever.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Albert Schweitzer
No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
Abraham Joshua Heschel
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
There are but very few men clever enough to know all the mischief they do.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
Benjamin Disraeli
Nine-tenths of the existing books are nonsense and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense.
Benjamin Disraeli The desire to seem clever often keeps us from being so.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A clever, ugly man every now and then is successful with the ladies, but a handsome fool is irresistible.
William Makepeace Thackeray   

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Charlie Sheen Quotes Funny

Charlie Sheen Quotes Funny Definition

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As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?
Charlie Sheen
Here's the good news. If I realize that I'm insane, then I'm okay with it. I'm not dangerous insane.
Charlie Sheen
I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don't think people are ready for the message that I'm delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.
Charlie Sheen
You either love or you hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing.
Charlie Sheen
I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.
Charlie Sheen
From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to 'Sheen's Korner' ... You're either in my corner, or you're with the trolls.
Charlie Sheen
Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.
Charlie Shee
I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there.
Charlie Sheen
Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.
Charlie Sheen
That we are to stand by the President right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
Charlie Sheen
I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.
Charlie Sheen
But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.
Charlie Sheen
You can't process me with a normal brain.
Charlie Sheen
I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.
Charlie Sheen
I'm tired of ignoring that I march to a different beat.
Charlie Sheen
 You can't process me with a normal brain.
Charlie Sheen
I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.
Charlie Sheen
I'm tired of ignoring that I march to a different beat.
Charlie Sheen
Slash sat me down at his house and said, You've got to clean up your act. You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you've got to get into rehab.
Charlie Sheen
I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.
Charlie Sheen
I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.
Charlie Sheen
Bi
I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.
Charlie Sheen
The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.
Charlie Sheen

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