New Year’s Quotes Funny

New Year’s Quotes Funny Definition

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"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to."
Bill Vaughn

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
Bill Vaughn

"The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."
P.J. O'Roruke

"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution."
Jay Leno

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."
Anonymous

"It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets."
William Thomas

"The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears."
W.H. Auden

"Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bileless New Year and leave it at that."
Judith Crist

"Matt and I have set a date. Matt and I will tie the knot New Years Day in the town of Swampscott, Massachusetts. Reserve your hotel rooms now. I will be having a gay marriage."
Ben Affleck

"New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."
James Agate

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
James Agate

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will.
Jonathan Edwards

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.
–Jay Leno
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
–James Agate
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
–Eric Zorn

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
–Bill Vaughan
New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
–Charles Lamb
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
–Oprah Winfrey
New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
–Mark Twain
Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.
–Judith Crist
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
–Anonymous