Short Quotes Funny

Short Quotes Funny Definition

Source(google.com.pk)
Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up. Garrison Keillor
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Woody Allen
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. Anonymous
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. Anonymous
You don't know a women till you've met her in court. Norman Mailer
We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. Chris Rock
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. James Thurber
Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. Simon Wiesenthal
Humor is the absence of terror, and terror the absence of humor. Lord Richard Buckley
Humour is that which most efficiently recognizes that we are living in an imperfect world, with imperfect arguments and things that are insane, illogical, and irrational. And the only way we can live with that fact is to laugh Anonymous
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. Mary Hirsch
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road. Henry Ward Beeche
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. Max Eastman
I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. Katherine Hepburn
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. Anton Chekhov
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker
If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of the stuff. George Carlin
Nobody goes there anymore...it's too crowded. Yogi Berra
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
Coffee isn't my cup of tea. Samuel Goldwyn
I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. Tommy Cooper
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell. Garry Shandling
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? Jerry Seinfeld
If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up some place else. Yogi Berra