_______If I had to pick one thing I hate most about driving and texting... it's probably all the people that show up out of nowhere on the sidewalk._______If you close your eyes and walk into Walmart... it smells just like PetSmart. (funny Walmart status)_______I wonder what the people of Walmart do...
31 Funny, Witty and Hilarious status Updates
_______I am not saying your breath is bad, but last time I caught a whiff I stopped, dropped, and rolled._______Whomever came up with the slogan of "the quicker picker upper" for Bounty obviously never tried Adderall._______Dont judge me but I'm looking at a single corn seed in my hand and yelling-...
30 Funny Witty and Hilarious Statuses
_______If it doesn't kill you...............it only needs to be made stronger!!_______the only time i did window shopping is when i wanted to buy a window_______Some people are as pointless as the second window at McDonald's_______Not only do I stalk your page, at night you might feel a 'POKE'._______I...
29 Funny, Witty, Hilarious Statuses
________When I see a flash mob in public I join in just to make it look like they didn't practice enough________Finally learnt to speak Chinese. Now I just need to say stuff that makes sense.________Talent used to be measurement of gold. Now it is a measurement of YouTube hits.________This...
28 Funny, Witty, Clever and Hilarious Facebook Statuses
_______I broke up with my girlfriend when she told me, "I'm so sorry I slept with you're brother" Can you believe she used "you're" instead of "your"!_______When life hands you lem... *slips on a banana peel*_______Sometimes you dream about people, not because they are in your heart but because they...
Funny Quoted
Funny Quoted DefinitionSource(google.com.pk) ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming...
Hilarious Funny Quotes
Hilarious Funny Quotes DefinitionSource(google.com.pk) In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for...
Golf Quotes Funny
Golf Quotes Funny DefinitionSource(google.com.pk) “Getting fed up with your shitty golf game…takes a couple weeks off, and then quit for good.”-Local Golf Pro“Golf is like a hot 17-year-old girl with big boobs. You know its trouble, but you just can’t keep away from her.”-Avid golfer and...
Funny Kids Quotes
Funny Kids Quotes DefinitionSource(google.com.pk) e worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia TauscherYou can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. JonesChildren make your life...
Drinking Quotes Funny
Drinking Quotes Funny DefinitionSource(google.com.pk) feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”~ Frank Sinatra“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep...
