Funny Valentines Quotes

Funny Valentines Quotes Definition

Source(google.com.pk)
"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
Pearl Bailey
‘I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.'
Dorothy Parker.
‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’
Aristotle
‘If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?’
Anonymous
‘Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.’
Kelly Elaine
’Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.’
Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.
‘Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.’
Anon
“When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.”
Natalie Clifford Barney
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
Rita Rudner’ Love is just a chocolate substitute.’
Melanie Clark
‘I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.’
Anonymous
‘We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.’
Tim McGraw
‘My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.’
Lee Iacocca
‘If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.’
Albert Camus
‘You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.’
Chico Marx
"Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too."
Joyce Carol Oates
’A kiss is an application on the top floor a job in the basement.’
Unknown
‘Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.’
Anonymous
‘Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.’
Thomas Robert Dewar
'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.'
Rosanne Barr.
'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.'
Mickey Rooney.
‘I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.’
Anonymous
‘Sales Ad at a Store: 'You are my one and only' valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.’
Anonymous
’Falling in love is so hard on the knees.’
Aerosmith
‘Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.’
Happy Valentines Day. (note to her gardener) Martha Stewart
‘A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years…’
Rupert Brooke
‘Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.’
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
David Viscott
“Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun."
Unknown
“Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life”
Lord Byron
"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart ! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."
Robert Orben
‘It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't even want to try.’
'Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself.'
Mae West.
'Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.'
Groucho Marx.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."
Jay Leno